DOGGONE IT

I can safely say I have a one of a kind dog. Let me explain. My wonderful parents went out this past weekend and purchased Harrison a outdoors kennel. It is fairly large and he can safely run around outside since our yard is not fenced in. My dad and brother spent hours Saturday building this kennel, putting in a floor and roof. We thought putting a floor in would stop him from digging out. My dad then had the bright idea of putting 20 bags of cedar chips in to also stop the digging. Sunday they finally finished it about dark. I put Harrison in it about 45 minutes before Jim was to arrive home just for him to check the area out before he had to be put in there the next day while we were at work. I locked the gate with a lock and key and went inside. 45 minutes later just about on the dot the doorbell rings and rings and rings. I go to the door and about the same time Jim opens the door and pushes Harrison in. I was amazed, how did you get him out I said, since he didn't have a key yet. He was sitting in the front yard Jim said as he went back out the door to go see where he had escaped from. He came back in and said there was a tiny place he was able to pull back and get out. So again last night my dad and Jim went to fix that spot and then Jim put him in there again. We started eating dinner and after about 20-30 minutes I said "you may want to go check on Harrison to make sure he's not out." He went out and guess what??? Yep, Harrison again was in the front yard. He looked and there was a small spot he was able to contort his body and get out. When it was all over Harrison came in and got in our bed ( yes he's 75 pounds and sleeps in the bed with us) and laid his head on Jim's pillow and fell asleep and was drooling on Jim's pillow. I was making fun of him and was talking like I was him ( which I do a lot, I think due to the fact I always wanted a Ventriloquist doll when I was little and my Mama never got me one so now I use my kids and dog and say funny stuff like it's coming from them with an accent they don't even have) Anyway, I was like " Man all this escaping and body contorting to get out of my new kennel is making me ty-erd." Well, I said that but I promise with the accent it was funny.

CRAZY INDEED

Your going to think I'm crazy, and maybe I am or we are. We are getting rid of our 2 cars ( my SUV and Jim's little car) and are buying a new lime green VW Bug. Yes, we have 4 children which means we all can't ride together, which means no more random trips anywhere. We are doing this to cut back and to save short term and long term. We want to take a vacation and buy a house so were making sacrifices to do this. I am going to buy a bike and one of those kid cart pullers and try to bike around town when I'm able. I never thought this would be an option but I'm really excited about trying it. We have come to the conclusion we can always buy another car if we need to but, we're going to try it for now. So if you see me biking or walking around town, HONK and help cheer us on to home ownership!!!

Construction in Progress

My house is a disaster! Let me take you on a tour of the handy work my wonderful puppy has done in the last few months. He has ate the floor in the living room where as now we have to replace the flooring in there we're just waiting until this thing they call "puppy stage" passes, if it ever does. He has also chewed the carpet in my family room as we now have to replace that too. He has clawed up the molding in the bathroom and ate some of the floor out of there. And now,,,,he has successfully almost ate a complete hole or we'll call "window" out of the wood bathroom door. Did I mention it's our only bathroom in the house? That's right folks, one bathroom, and the door has a huge hole in it now. Why the hell would he think to even eat a door? What could possibly make him think " I'm gonna shred that like a paper shredder?" I'm starting to believe he's a bit retarded or at least severe A.D.H.D. or maybe his mother and father were siblings (he did come from Blountstown.) Please let me know if your dog has ever been a shredder, I mean, toilet paper, paper towels, or now even wood doors. If you know when this stage is going to pass please let me know....

Mii and my Wii

We ( I mean Santa) decided to get the kids a Wii for Christmas this past year. We got each person in the family Wii games and items to go along with our new Wii. I asked Jim ( I mean Santa) for the new Wii Fit because I just knew I would use it daily to start working out. Well, Christmas day came around and then went and my Wii stayed in it's box. Then on December 30th, Jim finally got it out and made our characters ( I did help do that, and to let you know my Mii has enough eye shadow on to put Tammy Faye Baker " god bless her soul" to shame.) So, next we had to get our measurements. I stepped on the fit board and did a battery of simple tests. What did I learn from my newly created Mii, that was suppose to be an exact cartoon copy of me? First of all, my cartoon shirt doesn't cover my cartoon stomach which by the way is awfully life sized. Secondly, my Mii's Wii's fit age is 43, remember I'm 29 here! So Jim and I had a few hard laughs about our cartoon selves in workout attire. Jim's Mii was also chubby but his cartoon shirt fits him. Anyway, we put it back in the box where it stayed for the next 22 days. I didn't look at it, and I tried not to think about the cost of it since I was obviously not going to use it. Well, I'm here to tell you that has changed! Last night I told Jim to get it out and get it started, as I have still never played with any of it at all. I had to redo all those body tests again and guess what? I'd lost 2.9 pounds in the last 22 days ,but still had a Wii fit age of 43. This was a very exciting but I'm sure there would have been more pounds lost if I hadn't pigged out all last weekend, I mean really pigged out. So, with that excitement I decided I'd do a running game since I've been walking everyday at work, I'd change it up. So I ran, hula hooped, and dodged soccer balls ( I'm not sure why that's suppose to help you loose weight, but whatever) and ran some more. I finished, I was hot a sweaty and felt good about myself. So then it was Jim's turn to hop on and do his body test. When he got on and finished his tests the first thing that nosey Wii asked him was " Why have you gained weight?" Then it proceeded to give him like 10 choices to choose from of why he had put on weight in the past 22 days. I thought it was so funny! That is just like us, to both have chubby Mii's and a nosey Wii that wants to be kept in the loop about our every move. So anyway he finished exercising the same as me except he did the stepping aerobics ( which was a lovely sight to see) and wasn't good a hula hooping. Last night I vowed to get up at my regular time without hitting the snooze button for a hour and work out on the Wii. The clock sounded and I got straight up put my tennis shoes on and went into the living room, while still in my night gown and began jogging with the Wii. I will be the first to admit it was a sight to see. Did I mention I had tennis shoes on with no socks on, you know that always looks worse. I ran for 20 minutes, earned points and was able to unlock some new games on the Wii (don't ask me why, but they actually make you earn the games you already purchased.) I don't know about you but something is weird and fishy about that. You can see them but their blacked out until you EARN THEM. I know that a skinny person MUST have came up with that part of the system. I know that no overweight person I know would rightfully build a work out video game thingy (that's also weird, but I'm sure that WAS a overweight persons idea) but make you have to work out to be able to play all the games on the disk you have already purchased. I think that it's a conspiracy that I'm sure all leads back to Al Gore or the state of Florida which is the cause of everything bad. So I then tried to do some more balancing games and was having the worst time but kept trying for several minutes and then gave up. I proceeded to wake Jim up and make him work out. He fussed and whined as this is his off day and he wanted to sleep in, but I finally got him up. He went and got on the Wii and he also was wearing a lovely work out ensemble ( boxers, no shirt, no shoes.) At least I had shoes on even if I didn't have socks! Well he tried and tried for several minutes to do the stepping aerobics thing and it wasn't working for him either. I went to shower he came in a few minutes later and told me I had the Wii fit board turned the wrong way the whole time and it wasn't registering with the Wii system. Somehow I still felt proud for getting up and working out even if that meant having the machine turned totally backwards and fancying up my workout night gown with my Nike's with no socks. Tomorrow has to be better!

My Other Man
This morning I received an email about a wonderful hero dog who helped fight the war in Iraq and helped save lives. When he returned to the US he was given a medal of
honor for his service in the military.
Anyway, it just kept saying stuff about treating your pets with love and care. So, with that I'm going to tell my story, the truth about me one last time. I am in love with another fella. His name (after over a week of debates) would be Harrison "Harry" el Presidente Redmond III. I named him Harrison and Keegan said his name should be Harry for short. I said well Harrison was also a president's name so I added el presidente. When Jim got home that night I told him his full name and he added Redmond III. I hate to admit it but we do use his full name quit often to invoke laughter from everyone in the room. So anyway we got Harrison in July from a lady in Blountstown who was giving away free puppies. I thought this was just as considerate as adopting as I was not buying one from a breeder. Jim and I had talked a little about getting one that day and he wasn't sold on the idea. Then he fell asleep and it was my time to act so I raced to Blountstown I was the first one there so I got the pick of the litter. I chose Harrison because of the cream patches above his eyes. To me it meant he was wearing a ton of eye shadow, just like I do! He was so cute with big clumsy paws. I didn't realize how truly big that meant he was going to be until later. They told me his father was a Lab and his mother was half Husky and half Wolf. I thought, Labs aren't THAT big are they??He is presently 8 months old and 75 pounds! When I got home everyone was very excited, even Jim. So that's how it went for about 4
months, and then he turned 6 months old. He started acting crazy, nipping at everyone, stealing food off the kids plate, chewing up shoes, chewing up the floor in my bathroom and living room and chewing up every single roll of toilet paper he could get his eyes on and find. I'm just guessing it was around 50 rolls of toilet paper and paper towels. We literally had to hide the toilet paper. It was mass chaos in my house. It would have been along the lines of having a kindergarten class with 100 students on their first day of school everyday at my house. I was going crazy! Everyday there was toilet paper everywhere. The kids we crying and telling me to get rid of him. Finally one Friday night I'd had ENOUGH! I put his leash on him and with my girls headed to my car. We drove around Bristol until I found a neighborhood to drop him off in, a neighborhood across the railroad tracks as they say. Note: Bristol has no dog shelter or animal rescue and I felt I had no other option. So I stopped down a road and opened the door and he jumped out. As we drove away I was sobbing and Keegan started crying and said " I don't know why I'm crying, I hate that dog." I went to my mother's house and she assured me I had done the right thing as I was crying my eyes out. The next day I went back to look for him, to no avail. Sunday I went and looked for him again to no avail. Then I went to the Dollar General store and picked up a few things. I somehow left my detergent inside so the cashier came out to bring it to me. She then says " Kimberly do you have a dog?" I was SHOCKED and just said no. She said "well someone dropped a dog off in my neighborhood the other night and my uncle got the tag number to the car. "I was like it wasn't me, as I was scared to death. She then said, well it was someone who has a car like you. Note: I do admit,I drive the only Silver Nissan Armada in Bristol. I tried my best to end the conversation as soon as possible as not to incriminate myself anymore. I went straight home (and cried more) and got rid of everything dog related in my house. I wasn't going to go to jail for abandoning my dog without a fight. The next day Monday, I told Jim to go look for Harrison. I just kept praying the whole time since this incident that we'd get him back. He didn't find him. I cried more. The next day,Tuesday, I woke Jim up and told him to go look for our dog. I then called the girl from the Dollar General and told her I'd lied to her about not having a dog and told her I'd pay her to help me get him back. She told me she hadn't seen him since that 1st night but she'd be on the look out. I then called our local newspaper and put an ad in the paper about a lost dog. I hoped and prayed this also wouldn't incriminate me any further. Within the hour Jim called me at work and told me he had him. He was turing down a road in that neighborhood when a car was pulling out and he saw Harrison riding in the back seat of the car. Well he really didn't see Harrison he saw his butt. He has very distinct markings as he is mostly chocolate color with a white butt. Jim also told me the lady Harrison was riding with had no teeth. I was like" that's why you only saw his butt, he had his head down in the seat and didn't want anyone to see him riding with a toothless lady." Well anyway, he brought him home and he was so meek and mellow. He was kind to everyone, not biting. I couldn't believe what a few days away from home could do for a dog. He has truly changed and is the family dog I always wanted for us to have. I also have repented for this sin and promise to never do this again as it made me feel so bad while he was away. But now when the kids are bad I do threaten them by saying "remember what I did to Harrison, you better straighten up right now."

My Silly Husband



I'm not sure what planet he came from even after being married to him for three years. This past weekend one of the counselors to the bishop came by the house (while Jim was out walking the dog) and asked Jim to give a talk in church the following week. This was a first for him. He had to turn him down as he has to work next weekend, he works one weekend on the next off.

Well Jim came into the house with a big smile and said he was asked to give a "Speech" at church. I was like when?? He said the next weekend which I knew he would be at work. I said didn't you tell him you'd be at work? Yes, he said but began reciting the "SPEECH" he had come up with in his head in about 3 minutes. It went something like "if you love the lord put your right foot in, if you love the lord shake it all about." I am so glad he has to work next weekend and doesn't have to do a public version of this as I'm sure I'd kill over and die right there in the pew at church. I can read it now Kimberly Redmond dead at the age of 29 due to massive embarrassment by her loving husband. I'm not sure but I don't think my insurance policy he has on me will pay out for this manner of death.

How it All Began...

I was divorced with 3 small children under the age of 5. I had always been a stay at home mom and since the separation and divorce I was thrust into the real world, or at least the world of the working. I thought for months what I wanted to do with my life go to college, etc,etc. I finally decided to go into law enforcement and become a corrections officer with the thought of crossing over at a later date to become a deputy. I tested and passed and was accepted into the academy in Panama City, which meant a daily drive time of over an hour each way. I started school and soon realized I couldn't make it on child support alone while going through school. I applied to the Bay County Jail and was soon hired on as a trainee correctional officer. When I started I loved it, it was high paced, adrenalin pumping, make you feel important work. Soon after I started working they were making me work 16 hour days several times a week and go to school. Around the same time I was introduced to a fellow employee named Jim. He so wasn't my type. He was kinda nerdy but very sweet. He kept coming around and talking to me but I didn't pay him much attention. He gave me his phone number, which I promptly threw in the trash can as soon as he walked away. He then started calling me from his office to my post I was stationed at daily. I still wasn't interested. He then began bringing me dinner or ordering in for us. I started thinking no guy had ever treated me this way. He again gave me his phone number which this time I kept. Somehow we finally decided to go out, and guess what? He told me to bring my children along too! We went to Chuck E. Cheese and he acted as though he had known them forever. He soon gave me a promise ring ( I know, so dorky but I loved it) and then a month later an engagement ring. I couldn't believe this guy who had all his ducks in a row, and had never been married or had any children was willing to marry me and take on the responsibility of my three. Around the same time we decided since I was working so much and not really liking it anymore, that I'd quit and once again be a stay at home mom. We were planning a huge wedding and then decided to be more realistic and just elope. We bought a wedding license and my best friend Beth (a notary) married us at her mother's house in the spare room right next to the ab lounger. Romantic, I know! Our only attendants were my bridesmaid and other best friend Heather (the notary's twin sister) and Heather's husband Tommy (Jim's groomsman.) It was way silly and a lot of laughing going during the ceremony (thanks Beth and Heather and there mama's damn ab lounger.) Heather did look through some old wedding items at her moms house and found a huge fancy bouquet of silk flowers. She came into the room (with all of us in regular clothes) and said "I hope you like purple" as that was the color of the bouquet that had come from her sisters wedding a few years before. After the small ceremony they (Beth and Heather) made us a piece of pound cake with strawberries and whip cream on top for our "wedding cake" and 2 cups of water in red plastic solo cups. So much for a huge fancy wedding. It was small and sweet and I was glad my 2 best friend's were there (they could have put the ab lounger in another room though!!!) Did I mention it was on Christmas? Yes, we got married December 25, 2005. He tells people he planned it that way as to only have to buy me one present a year ( Christmas and Anniversary together) but I tell him, it better cost twice as much!